We don’t read the same book

Have you ever wondered why people don’t see things the same way you do or how people come to have the attitudes and dispositions they do? If so, allow me to assure you that you are not alone in thinking this way; I, too, have had the same thought and I’ll like to share a thought with you. Follow me!

I stayed at the NCCF (Nigerian Christian Corpers’ Fellowship) lodge during my national service and I must say that it was a memorable experience there. However, given that we all belong to the same faith and lived in a similar setting, I had believed that we should all share a similar perspective on everything. Instead, I found that people’s opinions on various topics varied and were reflected in their personalities and general outlook on life.

They were certain things that I had generalised in my mind, but I discovered that some people were unconcerned about it, and for a while I found it difficult to relate with most people because I feared we would disagree on most things rather than agree. Clearly, I had not managed my expectations well.

Eventually, I came to realize that the attitude, behavior, and disposition that people have toward life are a product of the kind of background, values, beliefs, and learning that they have either been subjected to or given themselves to, and that if they admit that certain things they hold to be true are not valid, it will take a rigorous process to unlearn it.

With this understanding, the next question is how do we have a successful relationship with others in a world where coexistence is unavoidable?

My dear friend, when you find yourself in a space with people of varying understanding the best thing is to relate with them on a common ground — that is, find something that you and the other party agree on and make that the basis of your interaction.

When you refuse to embrace this approach in dealing with people, you risk developing a superiority complex because you always believe your perspective is the only correct one, or you become argumentative because you do not want to agree with the opposing viewpoint, and neither of these is a good position to be in because it causes people to distance themselves from you, which is not a good place to be because we all need people at all times. So, as you progress in life, don’t try to persuade everyone to think the same way you do; instead, emphasize the common point of the conversation, and you’ll be fine.

I hope this helps you.

Your friend,
Segun Onilude